Archive for change

Oct
03

Implement the Training You’ve Already Had

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Many coaches have had lots of training, but there’s a point at which the key is in implementing what they’ve already learned, not just taking more training.

When I was talking to Tim Hallbom, an NLP Trainer, he mentioned that sometimes people aren’t clear about their criteria for knowing when they’ve learned something. That’s why you’ll often see people taking lots of training without implementation.

You need to implement what you’ve learned.

Like I said in my last tip (in the September issue of Belief Change Alchemy), “One thing all successful entrepreneurs have in common is their ability to take action.” You must implement.

If you tend to be a perfectionist, keep Dan Kennedy’s words in mind: Good enough is good enough! Don’t get bogged down in the details. Just be sure you have a way to measure what you’ve implemented, so if it doesn’t work, you can adjust.

For your sake and the sake of your business, take action!

As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, www.TerryHickey.com, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Coaching Tips
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Feb
01

Learn to Be with Your Clients

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This month’s tip is about the importance of being able to be with powerful and often uncomfortable feelings. When you are confronted with strong feelings, your ability to welcome and be with those feelings will enhance your effectiveness with clients.

Given that you are asking your clients to stay with and process uncomfortable feelings, your ability to model that behavior is as important as any other work that you’ll do with them. It is one of the attributes that high-end coaches must develop.

This is at the heart of the idea of “holding space” for your clients. This also will resonate with the idea that what you resist persists. It’s often the feeling about the feeling that’s the problem, not the feeling itself. For instance, if you are welcoming of your fear, that’s different than being fearful of or embarrassed about your fear.

So in addition to being able to be with uncomfortable feelings, it’s the ability to have a welcoming, curious attitude that will allow you to manage what would otherwise be extremely difficult or even seem impossible.

As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Coaching Tips
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Jan
17

Making Changes at the Behavioral Level

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As you may recall, last month’s article was prompted by a question from a reader about how to best use behavioral change techniques. As promised, this month’s article continues that discussion, addressing the application of behavioral techniques in difference contexts.

Before you work on a behavioral change, it’s important to pay attention to the level at which the problem occurs. You need to be sure that you really are working at the behavioral level. (See my blog for information on this topic: Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change?)

The next step is to establish a clear outcome and frame it in the positive. It should be a very clear goal expressed in terms of what is wanted—not what isn’t wanted. Rather than “I don’t want to be broke next year,” it should be reframed to say, “I want to make [specific income amount] in the coming year.”

Once you know what the client wants and what they have now, then the next question to ask is “What will bridge the gap?” Sometimes that can actually involve a behavioral technique. For example, someone might actually need a strategy for handling their appointment calendar. If that works, great. If not, you want to go back to the drawing board and ask, “What would have to happen so that you could manage your calendar the way you want to?” That question will likely tease out an underlying belief. If that’s the case, then you know the work is at the belief level.

Some of these questions might tease out a “part of me” answer: “Part of me wants to do this, and part wants to do that.” If that’s the case, you’ll need to do some integration work so that the parts can be in harmony.

As your coaching becomes more focused, you’ll discover that the work you are doing is more at the beliefs and values and the identity level than at the behavioral level.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
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Jan
16

Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change? (Part 2)

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In my last post I shared the lower levels of logical change: environment, behaviors and capabilities. Now I’m going to move on to the upper levels. Changes that occur at one or more of these levels—for you or your clients—are more likely to be successful and sustained.

  • Beliefs and Values: this level addresses how you organize your experience in the world; remember, a belief is a generalization from experience. Beliefs are adopted early on and become our guiding force, not learning from life. For example, if I believe the world is safe, my experiences will be very different from those of someone who thinks the world is dangerous. Given that beliefs rarely exist independent of one another, we each have systems of beliefs that can create problems when they don’t work together.

    Underlying beliefs affect the lower levels of change. Oftentimes changes at the lower levels—environment, behaviors and capabilities—won’t last if the beliefs that hold them in place are not addressed.

  • Identity: this level is crucial because it determines who you are in the world and how you think of yourself in relation to others. For example, saying “I am a golfer” represents an identity—who you are—and is different from saying “I play golf,” which only refers to something you do.

    Your identity influences how you move through the world and what you do or don’t do. Saying “I’m not the kind of person who takes risks” means that your new learning experiences will be limited. Describing yourself as a “risk taker” has different implications and may result in dangerous behaviors that do not serve you well.

    What I understand when I’m working with people is that the identity you hold may need to be adapted or shifted in order for a significant change to happen in your life. Identity has an impact on all the levels beneath it.

  • Mission or Purpose: this speaks to, “What’s more important than me?” or “What’s larger than me?” Teachers often answer this by saying that they get to have an impact on children—that it’s the most important thing they can do. Mission is crucial. That’s why people struggle at a job that to them has no purpose. When people recover from illnesses that were supposedly terminal, it is often because of mission, or remission—acquiring a new sense of purpose. For many, having a connection with God or a higher power makes a difference, feeling a bond with something larger than themselves.

Change can happen at any one of these levels, but you need to recognize at what level the work is being done. For example, sometimes a reframe doesn’t quite sell because it’s at the wrong level.

It’s also essential to know at what level a problem exists. Coaches are often trained to work at the behavioral level, yet problems usually are not behavioral—or not just behavioral. There’s often an underlying belief at another, higher level that may prevent a change at this lower level from making a difference.

Understanding the relationships between and among all these levels can profoundly influence the way you work with people. Ultimately, you want to create alignment at all six levels. When everything is aligned for a client, their actions will be more effective and precise, they won’t waste energy, and they’ll have more success.

Are your values, identity and mission congruent with your goals? Do you have a client who needs to make a change at one of these levels to support his or her goals?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
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When people say, “Well, at one level I believe this, but at another level, it’s this,” it shows that they are thinking about issues at different levels. Whether they know it or not, they are referring to logical levels of thinking or change.

There are six levels that I hold as important in whatever change work I do. They can be useful for understanding change from an individual or an organizational point of view. Let me explain…

  • Environment: change at this level implies making a change in one’s environment; it could involve bringing in an organizational specialist to rearrange an office environment in support of a mission or job, or it could be as simple as reorganizing furniture, adjusting the temperature or making ergonomic changes.
  • Behaviors: this addresses what you do; to create behavioral changes you might bring in the same organizational person to teach a set of behaviors to maximize the environmental changes, which could range from new methods of doing simple tasks to things such as assertiveness training or behavioral intervention.
  • Capabilities: this refers to how you organize your behaviors—the strategies people come up with to carry out behaviors, whether for work or play; it involves thinking at a higher level about how behaviors are organized. (For some the problem is that they don’t have a strategy on this level. For example, many people claim they don’t know how to make decisions, but the actual problem is that they don’t know how to put one set of criteria ahead of another; they don’t have a strategy for making their decisions.)

Before I describe the rest, keep in mind that there is a hierarchy to these levels. These first three—environment, behaviors and capabilities—are the lower levels of thinking. It’s tougher to successfully make a change if you intervene at a lower level, at least in terms of making systemic changes. I’ll share information about the upper levels in my next post.

In the meanwhile, can you think of a change you’d like to make at one of these levels? Is there something in YOUR environment that needs to be adjusted to support your goals?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
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Sep
21

Facilitate Focused Action by Clarifying Your Criteria

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As your business expands, one of the biggest challenges is determining how to get everything done in order to keep the expansion going. If you don’t solve this issue, you will likely end up dealing with burnout, frustration and a reduction in potential income.

You know you’re experiencing this struggle if you find yourself saying, “I have trouble managing my schedule,” or you find yourself talking about the need to have balance in your life. Another indicator is if you are not attending to the things you value, e.g. relationships, kids, working out, etc.

One of my clients is expanding her business and recently mentioned such challenges. She said, “I’m struggling with finding enough time to manage my business.” What I said to her in response was, “It’s not that you don’t have enough time. It’s that you don’t have clear criteria about how to spend your time.”

So how can you solve this common, but important, issue?

  • Set time to clarify criteria. Even though this is a potentially difficult task, knowing what is most important to you will allow you to commit time in alignment with your criteria.
  • To set your criteria, do the following:
    • Ask, “What are the most important actions to grow my business?”
    • Ask, “What is the one activity that would make the biggest difference?”
    • Imagine your business having achieved the success you want. Stand up and step into that successful business and ask, “What were the most important actions that got me here? Which of my beliefs were most significant in getting me here?”
  • Once you have clarified your most important actions and supporting beliefs, determine what you can do and what needs to be delegated… then make it happen.

While doing the exercise above, you will likely discover limiting unconscious beliefs, such as “It’s not OK to devote time to what I think is important,” or “What I want doesn’t matter,” or “What’s important to me must satisfy or please others.” If empowering beliefs do not replace these limiting beliefs, it will be nearly impossible to implement your criteria.

So set time to clarify what is most important to grow your business, resolve limiting beliefs, and delegate those tasks that no longer serve what you most value. Then your actions will be focused on what most matters to you and your business.

So are you willing to take the time to discover your important criteria?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.http://terryhickey.com/

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So you’ve set in place that new program, new product, new service or new launch that’s designed to take your business to the next level. At first you’re proud of yourself, but then you begin to focus on what you might do wrong…

  • You micro-analyze your performance in the teleclass you just did, complaining that even though you had 100 participants, you should have had 200.
  • You begin wondering if the right person is going to show up for your call or your offering.
  • You worry that you haven’t priced it right and they can’t afford it.
  • You tell yourself you should have said this instead of that.

Soon you discover that you’re having trouble sleeping—or you’re waking up anxious. Because of your fear you stop taking specific actions like calling a potential client or following up on expected tasks and e-mails. You even start missing deadlines.

Does this sound like you?

If so, rest assured that you’ve done nothing wrong. You’re actually right on target. The good news is that with the appropriate approach, such fear can be the key to great success.

There are three things you can do to transform your fear and reap success.

  1. Recognize that you’re only having this fear because you’re stretching yourself. Stepping up to a higher level requires you to stretch and experience the discomfort that comes with trying something new in order to get what you want. People who don’t stretch won’t feel this. Instead, they’ll experience the regret of not gaining what they want because they haven’t pushed themselves
  2. Transform fearful questions into empowering ones. Pay attention to the kind of questions you’ve been asking yourself and discover what you need to ask yourself instead. For example…
  • Don’t ask yourself “Why aren’t more people showing up for my teleclass?”Instead, you need to ask, “What number of people do I want to show up, and how can I make that happen?”
  • Likewise, don’t say, “What if the right person doesn’t show up?”Rather, you should ask, “Who is the ideal person for the program, and what would make them want to come?”

The answers to these new questions reveal the action steps you need to take.

  1. Recognize your comparisons. Think about who you are comparing yourself to when you think you’re not doing enough—or not doing the right thing.
  • Using the teleclass mentioned earlier as an example, if it had 100 participants and you felt it should have had 200, ask yourself, “According to whom or what standards?”You’ll probably find that you’re comparing yourself to someone who’s already doing better than you because they have more experience. Think about how they got where they are and recognize that it’s natural to compare yourself to those who are already doing better. When not used to judge yourself, such comparisons can serve to motivate, which can lessen anxiety.
  • Look at your own growth. As a more useful comparative, notice what you have done since last month or last year. Recognize how much you’ve accomplished over time.

Keep in mind that while some fear can be good, too much can create paralysis. So put your fears to work for you, and step up to a higher level with confidence!

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
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Aug
08

Are You Being Your Real Self?

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I just finished my introductory letter about this month’s hypnotic download program. In researching material for this product I perused Transforming Your Self: Becoming Who You Want to Be by Steve Andreas. Steve is an original thinker. He considers himself a scientist first and an author second. As a scientist he adopts a very pragmatic view of the world, and he brings that scientific worldview to his work in neuro-linguistic programming. In this interesting, useful book Steve explores the idea of self in depth.

The idea of the true self or authentic self is very common. What’s less common is knowing when you are expressing or fully engaging your true self. Steve suggests this and shows several ways for you to connect with and operate from your true self. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that when you are connecting in this way, you will be more congruent and have more impact on the world?

You have heard people say things like, “I wasn’t being myself” or “That’s not really who I am” or some other statement that implies there is another self, a false self or an unreal self. What is it that makes this statement make intrinsic sense? I propose it’s the idea that we have a true self that is somehow known to us.

Steve illustrates in many ways that this is so. He suggests processes for readers that allow us to discover how our brain codes experiences. He is able to systematically describe and make possible these discoveries through the experiences he recommends, allowing you to make your own discoveries. Then he illustrates the principles, many of which seem to be universals that actually allow not only learning but also change.

He expands on the idea of your true self, explaining that it’s better to think about your real selves, because we actually create several selves. It is useful to know which self serves you in pursuit of your values. It is important to find what is enjoyable, interesting and pleasing, etc. Having a self makes it possible to have a self-concept. Developing a self-concept that is true to what is important to you is what effectively supports you in your life goals.

I have been particularly interested in this theme of the true self because it often emerges when I am coaching. Many clients discover that as children or young people they took on or adopted a self that someone else wanted for them rather than allowing who they were to truly emerge. One way to understand this phenomenon is to recognize that when we are congruent with who we truly are, we move through the world with a great deal of clarity and power. Would it surprise you to discover that sometimes people play “small” so that others around them can be more comfortable and relaxed?

This phenomenon implies that one of your challenges is to be comfortable with your “selves” and stop shutting down or minimizing your power and clarity so that others can be comfortable. We may discover just the opposite—many people actually prefer us to be in our power. It might be better to say that we need to allow ourselves to be who we truly are and discover what emerges from that decision, rather than choosing to make someone else comfortable.

People who don’t think well of themselves usually don’t attempt very much, and if they don’t attempt very much they won’t accomplish much. So being able to identify who you truly are in different contexts will allow you to congruently take action, letting you be more productive and do things you enjoy more—rather than what you think you should do.

Are you comfortable with your true self? With all of your true selves? Are you letting yourself be who you truly are?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

 

Categories : Beliefs, Mindset
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Jul
13

Do You Have Winning Beliefs?

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Photo of Abby Wambach courtesy Pat Gunn via Wikipedia

In attempting to explain the amazing come-from-behind last-minute goal that allowed the U.S. womens soccer team (WNT) to beat Brazil, one of the announcers said, I know that the word belief gets overused, but this team just believed in themselves.

In interviews with team members, especially Abby Wambach, time and again I heard the phrase We just believed in ourselves.

If they had lost, they could have made a strong case that the referee took the game from them, for they did not spend time during the game protesting calls that had been made. They merely focused on winning.

The last goal that put the team into kick-off position was the result of a play that started deep in the WNTs defensive end and required several pinpoint passes. Every touch was important. Without those passes Abby would have never put her head on the ball and driven it deep into the net.

Brazil spent its last 5 minutes of the game faking injuries and attempting to not lose. One exception was Marta, a Brazilian player who clearly has some powerful beliefs of her own. As a team, however, Brazil clearly lacked the belief in itself that was necessary to win.

On some level the win did not surprise me, because I had bought into the belief that the U.S. Womens National Team would win.

What if you could create beliefs so powerful that you could sustain yourself, even when the referees (economy, politicians, saturated market, etc.) appear to be in opposition to you? What if, instead, you focused on winning or achieving?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

 

Categories : Beliefs
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Jul
01

Facilitating Belief Breakthroughs for Increased Confidence and Competence

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I am just back from Chicago where I conducted a two-day training in my Belief Breakthrough Method.™ This is an intensive, small-group experience that is experiential as well as didactic. It is deliberately limited to 10 or fewer participants so that everyone in the group has a chance to work on their own limiting beliefs.

During the program I break down the choices so that the process of effecting change can be understood and applied, and then I demonstrate a skill set and have members practice it. This allows multiple levels of learning, observation and direct experience. At the end of the two days, every member of the group had opportunities to do work, and many said they had experienced major breakthroughs—especially in the areas of feeling “deserving” and being willing to step up in a bigger fashion.

The other area we were able to focus on was health beliefs. Several health coaches participated in the training, so we were able to do some specific work in this realm. The role of beliefs in health and healing is immense. Health and nutrition coaches who cannot work effectively with beliefs essentially decrease their effectiveness.

It’s important to understand that working with beliefs is a complex process that involves several skills that are not always taught in training programs. When I have seen coaches learn these skills, I almost always see them increase their effectiveness. As a result they are often able to increase their value and thus increase the amount they are able to congruently charge, ultimately ending up with high confidence and high competence. Unfortunately, sometimes what I see is high confidence with low competence where they are missing part of the picture—or low confidence with high competence where they don’t step forward in powerful ways.

Do you have a way of evaluating where you fall on this scale of competence and confidence? When you increase either, it puts you on a path to increasing both your effectiveness and your income.

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

 

Categories : Beliefs, Coaching Tips
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Coaches Intensive Program

• Quickly Break Through Money Plateaus
• Gain Confidence, Clarity and Inner Peace
• Banish Your Limiting Money Beliefs