Archive for motivate

Jan
31

Are you set to actualize your dreams in 2018?

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One of the most upscale places I stayed during last summer’s journey was the Bell 2 Lodge, located on Highway 37 in British Columbia. That road boasts spectacular views and diverse wildlife, including plenty of black bears, often just a few feet from the car!

At the end of my last travel post I described the beauty and wildness of Whistler, Canada. I left there mid-morning on July 1 and continued my trip, still in British Columbia (BC) but heading northeast. There are few major highways in BC and the Yukon Territory, and almost every turn reveals a new vista, high mountain peaks, rushing rivers, lakes and forests. I did some sightseeing, managing to wander around a bit. Because it was a major holiday, many large towns had “no room at the inn.” It happened to be Canada’s 150 birthday, celebrated in almost all medium-to-large locations. I attended an event with a baseball game, music and free food as well as art and food sales. I picked up some local honey and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

But wait, there’s more—wildlife abounds in that area. Birds range from small to the majestic trumpeter swan and the ever-regal bald eagle. What was the most fun was the number of large mammals. Driving up Highway 37 that evening, I saw an amazing number of black bears: nine within 50 miles. As I was beginning to wonder if I would have enough gas, I suddenly came across the wonderful Bell 2 Lodge, a resort known to skiers because of its location. I pulled in after midnight, planning to sleep in the parking lot. Luckily, they were open and celebrating Canada Day. I sat near a fantastic fire with travelers from around the world. I especially enjoyed talking with a couple from Germany who were traveling around the world with a small baby. We shared fireworks, singing and a great time overall. Some of our laughter was because of a man setting off fireworks who had also been hitting the bottle. He made the show even more exciting.

The next morning, I met a fellow University of Arizona graduate who was riding his bicycle to Fairbanks, Alaska. I also met a 70-year-old who was riding his motorcycle to the North Pole—or as close as he could get. I realized then that I was in good company; I was seeing others actualize their dreams just as I was.

Are you?

If not, do you have plans to put your dreams into action?

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Dec
06

Are you ready to follow your heart in the New Year?

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Canadian scenery: the first two photos are from Vancouver, one of
the most beautiful cities in North America, and the last was taken
on the spectacular road to Whistler.

***

This is the fifth installment of a series about my summer road trip.

***

What I wanted to do on my trip was to follow my intuition or my muse. I sometimes just took a road because it interested me. I would also stop to take pictures, especially of beautiful vistas or wildlife that became more and more common as I got farther north.

After leaving Seattle I drove east to visit wine country along the Columbia River. This land is abundant with vineyards, orchards and small, well-kept towns full of friendly inhabitants. I took advantage of the rich bounty by tasting wine and cider and sampling local cuisine. This kind of traveling is best done slowly to savor the food and drink and scenery. I often read Sunset Magazine, and this trip is one I remembered reading about.

By mid-afternoon I had crossed into Canada, which was an interesting experience. When the border agent noticed I was from Arizona, she asked several times if I had a gun in my car. I didn’t and said so. I did mention that I had a 22 at home and was then questioned about where I kept it. When I asked why there were so many questions, she paused and said, “Of course, most Americans have guns. Sometimes they forget they have them in their cars, and questioning helps them remember.” So, the Wild West still lives, or all “real Americans” have guns.

Ah, Vancouver. It’s one of the most beautiful cities in North America—until you encounter its traffic or try to buy or rent a house or condo. When you visit Vancouver’s amazing, pristine beaches and eat its great food, you discover a true international city. Being there in the summer was also a treat because of the long days. It’s a great place to kick back and enjoy.

Continuing the trend of reuniting with people from my childhood in Peru, I stayed with Beverly Hanna—a former Peruvian neighbor—and her husband. They took me out to experience eating on the bay, where water taxis transport people from one waterfront establishment to another. Before I left, Beverly took me to a farmers market and told me to buy the local strawberries. Wow! What a taste treat. Southern British Columbia produces some incredible produce and seafood served up in a beautiful environment.

The next day I hit the road, headed for Whistler, the site of a recent winter Olympics. This drive has to be one of the world’s most scenic, with mountains, lakes and rushing rivers around every corner. Whistler is a scenic mountain town and an ideal site for winter sports. I had fun walking around and enjoying the vibes of the town. The only planning I needed was to watch my gas, because once I drove farther north, towns became few and far between. I also had to convert gallons into liters of gas—yes, a liter, like a liter bottle of wine. When I did the figuring, I realized how expensive gas is in Canada, so paying by the liter seemed to make it easier. The other fun calculation was Canadian versus American dollars. The difference was in my favor: 100 American dollars got me about 125 Canadian dollars.

Going on this summer’s trip is one of the ways I followed my heart this year. Are you following your heart right now? Have you made specific plans to follow your heart next year?

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Nov
01

What are you doing TODAY to make your dreams happen?

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This winery is on the Columbia River, with Mount Hood in the background.

***

This is the third installment of a series about my summer road trip. The others were posted on August 23 and September 6.

Traveling through Oregon this summer provided several opportunities to connect with a variety of people. After a wonderful time in McMinnville, I drove to Portland, hoping to see some of my clients or friends from coaching. There I found Lara Adler, whom I have known for many years. She was one of Carey Peters’ and Stacey Morgenstern’s “Spotlight Sisters” who migrated to the west coast and settled in the Portland area, where she has established herself as an expert in environmental toxins. As we caught up with other friends over wonderful Japanese food, we reflected on how long we’ve been doing some form of coaching to help make a difference in peoples lives.

While in Portland I also went to the famous Powell’s City of Books, a landmark, multi-level source for new and used books that also houses a café. I could spend hours there, and often have. Of course, if you are into food, beer and wine, Portland is a “go-to” destination. During lunch at Rogue Brewery, I met a nice young woman who wants to make a difference through learning more about how to save endangered species. I also spoke with a bartender who loves fly-fishing. Almost all people have a passion and a dream. Part of what I committed to on this journey was asking people about their dreams, which can lead to fascinating conversations and inspirations.

The next day’s drive led to Seattle, where I let myself wander the city until catching up with Jeffrey Stewart, a wonderful coach I first met while mentoring with Robert Dilts. Jeffrey works at Microsoft, where he really gets a chance to utilize his NLP and coaching skills. I had a great time with him and his family. Jeffrey and I love to discuss the evolution of coaching, especially since we have both worked with Robert, who has been very instrumental in influencing the direction and scope of coaching and leadership.

Upon leaving Seattle I decided to drive along the Columbia River and explore some of the vineyards and orchards this area is famous for. I have been reading The Change, a SciFi series that takes place in this area, so I was able to see what I’ve been reading about. Traveling this way for me is peaceful and serendipitous.

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As you may already know, this summer’s trip is one of many dreams I have successfully realized. Have you identified the specific steps necessary to make one of your dreams happen? Are you working on at least one of them every day?

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Oct
04

Are you where you want to be?

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Just before leaving Los Angeles I had dinner with Melissa Wilhelm and her husband John. Melissa has been developing her brand and has been pursuing what she wants. She’s yet another person I saw this summer who has demonstrated a willingness to go for a dream. Her husband John has also been doing work he loves. He recently left a safe job to go for a dream job. As we talked a familiar theme emerged: going for a dream requires managing anxiety and uncertainty. You must be more committed to your dream than reality.

After heading north I connected with one more client, Jack Austin. We had a chance to reconnect and review some of our earlier work together. Jack is one of the most well educated coaches I have ever met. He is always reading a new book or exploring a new training. He laughingly acknowledges that he has to resist jumping in with sharing information or theories, but his knowledge is helpful for ultimately understanding clients’ motivations and experiences.

I made it to San Francisco the next morning and connected with several people on my social media list as well as friends 2588_TerryCynthiaPeruI grew up with in Peru. One of my favorite people, Nancy Marmalejo, invited me over for dinner and asked me to stay. What a wonderful visit. Those of you who know Nancy know what a wonderful way she has of moving through the world. She has created a home that honors her grandmother, a healer, by creating sacred spaces and herbal gardens. We had a wonderful reconnection and went for a walk, enjoying the wonderful park and lake nearby.

Prior to my trip I let my connections from Peru know that I wanted to connect with fellow Peruvians or expats; that was one of my trip goals. One of the responses was an invitation from Cynthia Bolton (pictured with me at right). We shared such a unique childhood that still unites those of us who grew up in La Oroya, Peru. She and her husband live near Oakland and have a spectacular view of the bay and San Francisco.

After leaving their house I was off to northern California. I went up Highway 101 and avoided the freeway so I could enjoy the coast and the redwoods found in northwest California and southern Oregon. I let myself meander along the coast, stopping to enjoy the beaches. Just by taking my time, I found a great grove of redwoods. To be in their presence is to feel at one with the ancient ones, the lungs of the earth, or as my teacher Don Américo would say, the Waiki trees.

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Crossing into Oregon is at times to see crowds of people enjoying the beaches, but if you go on some of the smaller roads, it’s quiet and peaceful.

horsesI had a destination in mind for that state as well. I was connecting with one of my childhood best friends, Alfredo Arguedas. He lived next to me, and his sisters and my siblings were very close. As kids, we spent hours hiking and target shooting. He went to school in Lima while I went to Kentucky, and we reconnected in the summers. He and his wife Deb now live in McMinnville, Oregon, on a rural 10-acre plot where they raise horses and chickens. They are watched over by their dog, who takes her job seriously. I had a marvelous time with him and caught up on all that transpired after we both left Peru. Alfredo did two tours in Vietnam as a Marine, then went to Marine Officer Candidates School and eventually retired as a full colonel.

Alfredo relayed a tearful story about returning as a consultant to Vietnam and being teamed up with a former captain of the North Vietnamese Army. They spent every morning before work drinking tea, and in the process he found an inner peace that had previously eluded him. He also visited an area where he had been stationed and put some old ghosts to rest.

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If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that this summer’s road trip was on my bucket list and is one of many dreams I’ve realized.

Have you set aside some time to evaluate where you are and where you want to be? If you haven’t taken the time for this self-evaluation, don’t wait any longer. Sit down and start daydreaming, brainstorming and planning! Once you figure out what you want, figure out how to make it happen.

Note: This is the second installment of a series about my trip. Check my Facebook page and blog for additional posts.

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Sep
06

Are you reaping the rewards of setting a powerful intent?

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I saw a recent post from Nancy Marmalejo sharing how energizing and renewing her recent vacation had been. “Yes!” I said to myself, because her musings captured what I felt as a result of my summer drive to Alaska and the vacation week Beth and I took in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

On my driving trip, I really wanted two experiences: be in nature and reconnect with old friends. I fully experienced both intents. Driving along the coast of the western US is one of the world’s most scenic opportunities: Northern California offers ocean vistas with mountains full of majestic pines and giant, stately redwood trees. Just inland is one of the best wine producing areas in the world, with miles of well-tended grape vines and small, friendly towns featuring wine tastings, breweries and creative chefs combining local ingredients in fresh, innovative masterpieces.

I grew up in Peru, high in the Andes Mountains, and everywhere I looked there were mountains but no trees, because we were above the tree line. Those mountains were my playground. My friends and I spent hours exploring them. We found old buildings, parts of the old Inca road, even burial caves. When I turned 12, I got my own horse, which made exploring even more comprehensive. Getting away and setting an intent to be in the moment opens possibilities.

When I was 18 I rode a motorcycle from Tucson to Panama, even though our intent had been to drive all the way to Chile. Though unable to get on a ship through the canal, we were able to put our Volkswagen bus on a ship heading to Miami. So we flew. That trip had been one of my goals. I had been a traveler from a young age and had already been around most of Peru and parts of Bolivia. Given that my dad worked in Peru in an Andean mining town, I guess you could say travel and adventure were in my DNA.

I left Arizona on June 20 at 4:00 in the morning in an effort to avoid the extreme heat (over 110 degrees). I took my kayak with me, which worked well except for reducing my mileage and sometimes causing some noise. I was able to get from Phoenix to Los Angeles by that afternoon. There I connected with Anita Avalos, a client. She had just come from Italy, where she had been creating an experience for those who love the idea of experiencing the sensual treat of creating an Italian experience with food. Hers was a full dive into living, shopping, cooking and feasting the local way—a deep dive into that life. My road trip offered a similar “dive.” In a way we were both talking about living our dreams.

Are you living your dream? If not, are you actively working to make one of your dreams a reality?

Set an intent today, and start working on it right away!

Note: This is the first installment of a series about my road trip. Watch my Facebook page and this blog for additional posts.

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Jul
05

Have you had to learn something the hard way recently?

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Posted 7/5/17; written in early June

This is the first time I’ve been able to sit down and reflect on “what now”? I’ve been involved in helping with the health care of my father-in-law, Harry. Navigating all the systems involved has been an education. Like many painful educations, it was not freely chosen.

About six weeks ago Harry suffered a fall. He told us the next morning, and because of his age and fragility Beth thought it best to take him to the hospital. He is a vet, so he primarily uses that system, and they decided to admit him into the hospital to run tests to evaluate for injuries and to determine the cause of the fall.

Unfortunately, Harry got worse because of the hospitalization. He was kept in bed and hooked up to a fall warning device that emitted a shrill sound if he tried to get out of bed. Since the VA staff was managing a full unit, he did not get walked or exercised and lost weight as well as strength. Therefore, the discharge plan was to send him to a skilled nursing facility.

It was awful. Understaffed and overworked personnel were slow to respond, and he was put in a room with another patient who was agitated, loud and suffering from many issues, which affected Harry’s ability to rest. When Beth and I got home around midnight after his first day there, both of us knew we couldn’t keep him in that place.

In all fairness to this and similar facilities, they do the best they can with the limited resources they have. Many of these facilities cannot accomplish what they are or were designed to do. Most of their residents are in the last stages of life, and many of them no longer have family available to manage or help direct their care. They have become warehouses for the elderly, poor, and disabled. They are staffed by overworked, underpaid people who feel and experience the despair that permeates the milieu like a creeping gas attack designed to suck out joy and life from all who are in the environment.

Then there is the effect of all of this on family members and caretakers. How can you leave a loved one in such an environment? Often families have no other choice.

So how did we get here? The health debate has intruded into this event because even though we spend more money per capita on health care than any other country in the world, we are left with a system that seems to satisfy no one.

The good news is Harry is doing well now. He is in a facility that is smaller and more personalized, one where we are able to work with the staff. The bad news is that many people don’t fare as well, in part because they simply don’t have the options he does. If you’ve had to deal with a similar scenario in your family, you have my heartfelt empathy.

 

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Apr
19

Making Your Dream a Reality

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As I plan my long-awaited trip, I’m looking at what I want and dream about through the prism of older age. I don’t have unlimited time; therefore I am applying criteria to my choices. Many years ago I set a goal of being on as many major rivers as I could because river travel seemed like a way to connect with early explorers and adventurers, and I have thought of myself as an adventurer for most of my life.

Dreaming is the first step toward getting what you want. You must take action, ideally inspired action, to realize your dreams, and at times you must employ faith, acting in the absence of truth or certainty.

If you live in the east or southeast and have been thinking of working with me, especially in person, this trip could be your opportunity. Part of what I have to share is a congruent message about following your dreams. One of the major outcomes of many who work with me is that they step into and live their dreams. This may be an act of faith on your part.

Over the past two years I have recommitted to acting in that way myself—acting on faith. I do this by committing to follow my heart’s desire. I don’t want to be at the end of my life regretting what I have not done. I’ve always ascribed to Alfred Lord Tennyson’s idea, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Are you committed to following your heart’s desire? Are you regularly taking action to realize your dreams? If you really want to accomplish your goals, at some point you have to move from planning to action. You must act.

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Feb
22

Do You Have the Traits of a Visionary Leader?

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What are the traits of a leader?

I often work with people who think of themselves as leaders or influencers of their company or tribe. If you talk about being a good or not-so-great leader, you’re usually making a comparison to someone else. People almost always have an image of someone who represents their idea of a good leader.

If you think of yourself as a leader, here’s what I’d like you to do:

  • Take a moment to consider what—and who—you think about when you say that you want to be a leader. Who do you think of that represents that?
  • Then go a step further and ask yourself this: If I were to be a leader, who would I be modeling myself after?

In times of war, people often think of a leader as a general or military figure, but more often today we think about business or political leaders. In a recent Facebook post I shared that I was curious about how people thought of leaders based upon perceived characteristics of good leaders. Most of those who responded to my post mentioned many of the traits often linked to leadership.

There’s been a lot of research on leadership traits. Below are the commonly recognized skills you need to have or develop in order to lead and encourage those who follow you.

Good leaders are able to… 

  • Listen to others and absorb their message.
  • Recognize and develop skills and abilities in others, bringing out their best.
  • Inspire trust in others.
  • Do the right thing.
  • Walk their talk.
  • Accurately assess themselves and their own capabilities.
  • Challenge the status quo.
  • Seek out and utilize feedback.
  • Give feedback in a direct but caring way.
  • Tolerate differing viewpoints.
  • Demonstrate behavioral flexibility.
  • Think systemically.
  • Think for the long term.

Taking it a step further, a visionary leader is one who can do all of this and articulate a vision that inspires their followers. (According to Burt Nanus in Visionary Leadership, a vision is a realistic, credible, attractive future for your organization.)

Do you possess all of these skills?

If not, are you committed to developing the ones you lack?

I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

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Jan
19

Does Your Language Align with Your Values?

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When thinking about how your language aligns with your values, consider a health care company choosing to use non-violent language rather than language that might be construed as violent. That company might focus on achieving goals instead of achieving targets, and it might use information points instead of bullet points.

Begin thinking about what kind of language and alignment you want to present this year. Joseph Campbell wrote that if you want to change your world, change your metaphor. To that I would add this: once you have your metaphor, select your language.

The metaphor “war on drugs” made it easy to think about jailing people as prisoners of war. It seemed acceptable to use increasingly harsh tactics because, after all, you were in a war. Now we’re looking at drugs as a health problem. In a way we were captured by our metaphor without even realizing the implication of it.

As you consider beginning to consciously change your metaphor, you may want to consciously change your focus. Focus is the attention you place on something. So linguistically, if you want to be more resourceful, create a focus that allows you to see a bigger picture. If you’re planning some sort of campaign, speak to the larger purpose. Say things about who will be positively impacted by what you want to do this year. This opens up the picture to lots of possible options.

If you want to adjust your focus later, after establishing the bigger picture, you will just need to “chunk down” to a narrower focus. Who will be affected? What’s most important to them? Focusing on these answers will move things down to a narrower focus.

If I decide that one of the things I want to do this year is to be more optimistic, I can preplan optimism by choosing ahead of time what I’m going to focus on. Eliminate the negative by refusing to dwell on problems or unhealthy comparisons with others. Often when you feel bad it’s because you’ve been making a comparison with someone else instead of a focusing on how you are doing now compared to how you were doing before.

This year you want to create the right state of mind for whatever task you’re going to engage in. In the same way that an athlete cultivates the right mindset to win, you can consciously cultivate the mindset you need to support your activities this year.

My challenge to you is to set a frame for the coming year—consciously set the frame for the year you want to have. Go beyond goals to mindset and purpose.

I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

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Dec
21

Applying NLP Approaches: Why You Should Follow the Recipe

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Spending time on my book during a recent weekend retreat allowed me to think about what I want to accomplish right now. There’s nothing like writing to sharpen my awareness. I thought through the idea of belief change and what I do that makes the work I do possible. I’ve become an expert in my subject matter, so writing involves trying to capture what I do and describe it in an understandable manner. I’ve found that when I write, the problem often isn’t knowing what to say but weeding out what not to say. The process is as much about winnowing as it is about creating.

During my weekend retreat I also caught up on professional reading, focusing especially on content from Steve Andreas’ blog. As I mentioned above, he was one of my Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) trainers, and his writing is inspirational to me because he’s thoughtful and approaches NLP in a very logical, scientific manner. When you make a decision to master coaching or a particular kind of coaching, it really helps to select representatives of the area of expertise you want to master. Reading about their thoughts and approaches expands your thinking about your own way of doing things, especially if their way of thinking is different from yours.

My approach combines intuition and Steve’s logical approach. He has taught me to consider this question: What is going on to make the change possible? And further: What are the processes that are making this change possible? If someone can show you a way to think through these questions, you’ll have a way to understand how what you are doing works. That thinking can allow you to create your own innovations and patterns.

This process is similar to cooking. When you first start out, it’s useful to follow recipes, particularly with baking. There’s a science behind that, and if you skip some of the steps or processes, you won’t get the right results. If you understand the science, however, then you can experiment. To become a really top-notch baker, you’d probably need to learn the chemistry behind successful baking.

This is true with NLP. Coaches often experiment with the steps of different techniques without understanding what each step is intended to do. Using the swish pattern as an example, Steve notes on his blog that he found more than a dozen videos online in which NLP practitioners failed to follow the steps of this pattern appropriately in order to successfully address unwanted habits. Those who left out some of the steps weren’t seeing successful results. He explained why it wasn’t working and the importance of each step in achieving success.

What Steve alerted me to again is the idea that you need to do things in a particular way in order to consistently have success. You have to follow the recipe.

My reading included works by two other authors who apply an understanding of neuroscience to influence behavior. Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion is about why people buy. It’s kind of a Bible for sales people. His new book is Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. This is about how you can set in place principles or ideas prior to a sales conversation. There are certain things you can do to help people to get into a buying frame so they even consider buying. This book is useful because it’s based upon brain science. Not only does it help you understand how to conduct marketing and how to get people to take action, but it also equips you to recognize what’s going on. When reading this book, you begin to get an understanding of how to alter your own marketing based on what makes a difference for people.

Carmen Simon’s Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions is also based on neuroscience and research but focuses on message delivery instead of marketing. In his testimonial about this book, Cialdini notes that the author “has broken the mold by showing how to enhance memory for our good ideas—not just in ourselves but in others.” Here are some of the premises Simon shares:

  • When your message is easy to remember, you become impossible to ignore.
  • When something stands out, people won’t forget it.
  • If your presentation is not significantly different, it won’t be remembered.

She points out that a willingness to be different, to be unusual and to take risks will make you stand out, and people will remember you. Her work is about putting the power of cognitive science to work for your business.

I’ve benefitted from reading each of these books and definitively recommend them for you and your coaching business.

I like to collect stories about belief change experiences. If you have any interesting ones, let me know or post them below so I can comment on them in subsequent articles or posts.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

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